We are heading into February, the month of LOVE! It can be a hard month for some, a month of BIG expectations for others, and a blip on the radar screen for some. No matter where you fall on the spectrum, use February to enhance the love in your life.
Too often we think in black and white - I either get to celebrate this month with an intimate partner or I don't. Well I'm proposing that we all use February to simply love more. No matter where you are and what's happening in your life, there is a great opportunity to simply love. Love what is. Love your friends. Love your peace and quiet. Love your pets. Love your parents. Love the snow fall or the sunshine. Love yourself.
Love with an open heart and a willingness to shine. Share who you are with all those around you and grow the love in your heart. February doesn't have to be a daunting month, it can simply be a reminder to love more!
It's Halloween - the holiday I don't understand and don't want to understand. What I do want to do is skip the darn thing.
When my kids were little I did enjoy the cute costumes and the school parties. Taking them trick-or-treating seemed like a rite of passage as a parent. Something you endure and make the most of.
Now that my kids are 16 and 18 - I'm ready to just jump right past this holiday. My preferance would be to go from Amber's birthday on the 17th to November 1st.
So why my aversion to the holiday? One - I don't understand it. Two - it's designed to be a scary holiday and I don't like to be scared. Three - some of my friends have been hurt on this holiday and this a just not ok. And four - people act weird when they put on a costume and personally I think we all act weird enough wearing regular clothes - why amplify it.
I really try my best not to be a drag for others who enjoy the holiday but for me it's not a fun way to spend the beautiful month of October. I'll never be a fan of Halloween, until I have grandkids to be cute and innocent with.
My recent newsletter talked about unplugging from media and technology. For most of us that seems like a silly and daunting adventure that we really don't even want to consider.
While I don't think I'd want to unplug for six months like the family in the book The Winter of Our Disconnect by Susan Maushart, those brief times when I do unplug (or my whole family unplugs) are a wonderful reprieve from the chaos of life. It gives my body, mind and soul a break, a rest, and a different kind of recharge.
I am seriously inviting all of us, at some point during the summer, to unplug. Whether it be for a day, a weekend, a month or more - just leave the technology and all the "screens" behind and see what happens. It really might just be the best part of your summer :)
I've never been one to "swim with the crowd" but this week has left me feeling like I'm alone in the ocean. Ok that's an exaggeration but not many in my circle are as enthralled with the Royal Wedding as I am.
Honestly I'm not certain why it's tapping me the way it is, but I figure why fight it, why not just roll with it and enjoy the moment.
So that's what I'm doing - I'm rolling with my excitement, my wonder, and my joy at the whole thing and letting myself get swept away. I'm enjoying guessing what Kate's dress will look like, what it's like to be in London right now, what little surprises will unfold on Friday. I'm enjoying hearing the story of their relationship, their backgrounds, and the reminiscing about Diana's Wedding.
Truth be told, I'm having fun with it all - and yes, I'll be up at 3:30 am to watch it live on TV.
You know I have a tendency to get this wrapped up in tragic news like the earthquake and tsunami in Japan - and I'm finding it a welcome change to be swept up on positive news instead. So laugh at me if you want, I'm having a good time and I hope whatever you're doing you're having a good time too!
I have a new favorite quote:
Learning to Trust God seems to require learning to stop relying on myself so much!
I love this quote because it's made me stop and remember that the only way there is room for God's help is if I stop orchestrating and planning every moment of my life. There has got to be some factor of the unknown in order for God to be able to perform miracles. And yet, living in the unknown is probably one of my greatest challenges. So for this month, I'm practicing. Practicing not planning everything, practicing trusting that God will support me, practicing living in the unknown. Wish me luck!
January is a very introspective month for me. With the cold weather, the shorter days, my social cup full from all the activities in December, and the beginning of a New Year; I tend to ponder a lot of things this time of year, spending more time journaling and in prayer and meditation.
I will admit that I love the quietness of January, I love the cold, I love the time considering who I currently am and how I’m living my life. It’s good for my soul to do regular re-evaluations and to consciously make new choices.
This January has brought an abundance of opportunities to remember my mistakes. Things I’ve said that I sure wish I hadn’t. People I hurt, whether intentional or not. Stupid, foolish choices I’ve made that in hindsight were a big huge DUH. It hasn’t been my favorite introspective January (really who wants to spend time remembering their less than stellar moments?) but it has been full of opportunities. I have the opportunity to make amends – internally and externally, when possible. I have the opportunity to forgive myself; and most importantly I have the opportunity to try harder to be the kind of person I really want to be.
Now if you and I were sitting over a cup of coffee and you shared with me what I just shared with you, my comment would probably be; “You haven’t made any more mistakes and blunders than the rest of us.” And I do believe that’s true but for me mistakes are learning opportunities; otherwise they’re just blunders on our path. I personally would rather spend time remembering my mistakes, working through them, and learning from them so that hopefully when faced with something similar in the future I make a better choice and can go to sleep that night knowing I was truly the person I wanted to be.
So how about you, any mistakes tapping you on the shoulder wanting to get your attention and help you grow? Anything you want to make amends for? Any new choices you’d like to make?
This is a great time of year to do these things and have an even cleaner slate to move through the rest of 2011. And by the way… if there are any of you reading this newsletter that I’ve hurt for any reason – something I said, something I did, something I should have said or done – then please accept my apology. And if you’d like to talk it through I’m completely willing, just call or email me
I just read this on a friends facebook post and thought it worthy of repeating:
I'm not a fan of Halloween, never have been. It's one holiday that I have no desire to participate in and really don't understand what all the fuss is about. That coupled with the fact that I've had some weird stuff happen on Halloween and I don't need or enjoy the feeding frenzy on candy.
Now I am a parent so when my kids were little I dug deep within myself and made Halloween a fun holiday. I made sure they had costumes, went trick-or-treating, and did what we could to enjoy the moment. Now that they're teenagers, my attitude is: if you want to celebrate, go for it, just don't include me. And I'm not a complete curmudgeon; I do turn on my porch light and pass out candy to the neighbors. But that to me is where Halloween needs to begin and end.
I'm sure most people think it's fun to put on a costume and wear a different persona for a night - which seems harmless enough. But I still can't wrap my head around all of it. I guess, what stumps me is that I see people wearing masks and costumes everyday, trying to be a certain way or live up to other peoples expectations, so Halloween seems like a holiday for something we do all the time.
I know it's probably crazy thinking but I just want people to be authentically themselves - all the time. And is a costume and the whole hoopla really a part of that? Maybe for some it is and I'm willing to accept that. Maybe being truly authentic is putting on a costume and completely enjoying the day. Perhaps having permission to act a little silly and cut loose a bit. For me being authentic is not putting on a costume and pretending that I enjoy Halloween. I guess we all need to express our authenticity in different ways, maybe that's what Halloween reminds me every year.
A friend reminded me that a blog is supposed to be updated more than once every three months - go figure :)
Actually I must confess that I've been in the throws of summer. Doing a bunch of playing - which is just so good for the soul, and we've done a bunch of cleaning out and rearranging in our house. We moved our 15 year old son down to a basement bedroom and I have taken over his old room as my office. This is the first time in 20 years that I've had an office that's all mine! Now that may sound kind of silly but let me just say that it has brought such simply joy to my day to day life, it's almost hard to describe. I love having a space where I've consolidated all my work files and all the family files. I have a file for just about everything and can easily find the paper work we need. PLUS I am decorating my office with all the sayings that inspire me. I used to post them in the kitchen or other places around the house but they don't have the same meaning to my family that they do to me - so now they are all over my office and speaking to me every day.
I am just so happy about such a simple thing and wanted to ask you - what simple adjustments can you make in your house, your work environment, your car, your yard, your wherever - that will touch your heart and bring more peace to your world?
Think about it and let me know what you come up with.
Enjoy the beautiful month of September - hopefully we're moving into slightly cooler temperatures but can still enjoy the great outdoors.
Peace and Blessings,
I'm excited that I've finally gotten my web site updated and a clearer representation of who I am. The picture at the top - the mountains - is at the very core of my being. At age 8 the mountains where the first place I had that sense that I was part of something bigger and that I wasn't alone on my journey. They quickly bring me back to center and help me celebrate all the good things in life.
I'm also thrilled to have a products page where you can actually purchase my books. Relationship Wisdom will be out in June or early July and you can pre-order if you choose. This is a culmination of all the work I've done in 24 years of coaching individuals, couples, and groups. It's a packed book with tips to support any relationship. Enjoy!